Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Hello


The world is a strange place. It has been four months since I came here and I can tell you with confidence, this world is nuts!

The day I came into this world, my family decided to convene their long due gathering. The entire family tree including its offshoot branches and long drawn acquaintances chose hospital as their venue. They celebrated by eating some round stuff packed in colorful boxes and even gave it to the nurses and ward boys but no one bothered to offer me one. What they could offer me was oversize clothes, some of which I have not been able to wear till date.

It was my first day in the world but they behaved as they were seeing a small kid for the first time. Their interest in me was more than a five year old's in a Giraffe at the zoo. They made funny faces and funnier noises and many times when my mother was not on guard, they even pinched my cheeks. Grow up guys!

To tell you about my mother, she is a good lady. Well almost!

She treats me well but I hate her when she puts those oily creams and lotions on me. I know she is impressed with that baby in Johnson and Johnson’s advertisement but Hello, trying all their stuff on me will not make me him!

I normally trust her but she has tricked me into drinking those tasteless liquids that doctor prescribed. Of course I am wiser now and have perfected the art of blowing it on her face.

My father believes in Nehruvian foreign policy of peaceful co existence and non interference in one’s affairs. I feel he is scared to show this to my mom so he daily plays with me for an hour. I think I do not mind it.

It is true that my parents spend time entertaining me but most of their effort is directed to make me asleep. They try their horrible lullabies on me in their croaking voices and I have no option but to fall asleep. Also is there any respect in this world for the sleep of four month old. It is understandable that they do not turn off the lights but watching TV aloud while I am trying to sleep is beyond comprehensible manners.

I should also say that it is difficult to live in this world under this intense attention. Whenever I try something new or utter any novel sound, my parents present themselves with a camera. I think I am too small to be in the Bigg Boss house and it really puts me off. Till now I have never allowed them capture my best shot.

They also try to make me piss while sounding that silly sssss….. It is awkward to hang in that strange position with air chilling your interiors. I have to yield to get over that embarrassing position, but do I have some human rights. Mom, Dad, I am fully entitled to wet my pants.

There are multiple other ways to irritate me and one is that whenever I am in a mood to laugh or talk, my mother dials my grandparents. It turns chaotic with so many people talking so I withdraw from that chat show. Mom can’t we have any serious talk without involving anybody else.

The pressure to perform in this world is unnerving and these people do not even spare a four month old!

Otherwise my parents are somewhat ok and I have no grudge against them but they have not named me yet. Isn’t it preposterous that a four month old does not have a name; worse not even a nick name? I have noted it down and will take account of it in future.

For the present, I make maximum of opportunity available at night by keeping them awake.

21 comments:

Pradip Bhattacharya said...

Very well written and delightful. I hope the baby will continue to write the autobiography!

Just Simple said...

Thanks sir and I pray so :)

Anonymous said...

Congrats!

Refreshingly different piece of writing

btw sir , is there any civil list webpage for IFS - indian foregin service like IAS ? Also i am intrested in a website that analyses civil services exam records and trivia ? are you aware of any ?

Regards

Sri

sandeep said...

Congrats..very cool writng too..

Karthik said...

Congrats Anurag. Wishing the Jr. all the best...

juhi said...

and i thought we were terrible parents because we haven't given our baby a name/nickname even when she's 2 weeks old! :)

juhi said...

and we thought we were terrible parents... not having thought of a name/nickname for our baby even though she is 2 weeks old :)this is really comforting

Anonymous said...

So Cute.can you tell ur dad not to take long breaks from blogosphere.
Arung

Anonymous said...

So Cute.can you tell ur dad not to take long breaks from blogosphere.
Arung

vikram singh said...

Hey! Congrats for coming into this Beautiful World. I'm sure your parents want to name you "The best baby in the world" and they are yet to find a little conventional name...Keep troubling them ;)

Deepanjali B Sarkar said...

Congratulations! Was reading your posts chronologically and so read this one last! Enjoyed reading your posts very much!

Adarsh said...

vely good and and vely cute

iamwhatiam said...

Congrats!!!
I have been a regular of ur blog since the past few months and the birth of the baby is a milestone in ur blog entries tracing ur journey from 2005..feels great to see d transition in both ur professional and personal spheres..

Please encourage the baby to come up with regular diary entries. Btw, he is just too cute, esp. his chin!!

Anonymous said...

Hello, Good Writing.Keep it up.From SOMEONE,from the southern tip of Kerala.

Nilesh said...

delightfull both - the baby and the blog...

Anonymous said...

Is the blogger on a vow of silence? Do keep writing.From the anonymous person in the southern tip,S.Kerala.

Just Simple said...

@All: Thanks for the comments

@ Anonymous person from the southern tip: I have become quite lazy off late. Looking at my son to give me more inspiration and ideas to blog :)

Kshitij said...

Congrats Anurag for cute baby. You expressed it so well that its sure you are very well aware of a infant`s needs very sensitively and taking care of them all very well .

Anu said...

Ha ha...nicely written from the view of baby...nice concept...keep up the good work.

vivek soni said...

hey congrates 4 being the father of a cute baby.this blog shows how much u love ur boy.god bless u all.

Anonymous said...

hello anurag sir ,sorry for commenting on different post. but thanks for this blog.
i really learnt alot from this site n continues.
thanks to YOU from all wanna be ias candidates.

my question is
Wherever im looking everyone wants 2be an ias. i know 35 candidates having different skill n traits but only one desire,
mujhe IAS banna hai(i just wanna be an ias)
is there any yard stick by which we can determine dat whether a person has some specific qualities which r MUST for this job.
or can we consider this thought that first get selected for ias then u can acquire skills during training and ADM internship period.
shudnt one must self judge b4 preparing 4 exams that whether he have certain qualities(like decision power, fast and correct execution, proper management of sub ordinates and list goes on)
experts comments required...

p.s. i request critical analysis of job of an IAS n virtues, skills required nt my writing style or mistakes. :-)
thank you

rohit jain. vmcorpindia@gmail.com