To Covid, With Love!

 Dear Covid,

 I cannot even believe that it is going to be our second anniversary; the entire credit goes to your mutant agility. I would be economical with the truth if I don’t concede that we tried our best to shut you out but like a real dogged lover, you were determined to be with humanity. I realize we are destined to be together for a lifetime so let me open my heart, my dearest Covid.

        We imposed lockdowns, created hurdles of geographical boundaries to not let you in but you never left our pursuit. We often banged utensils and shouted ‘Go Corona Go’ on the streets, we made people bathe in sanitizing tunnels and sprayed gallons of toxic chemicals all around but there you were, just amused at the infallibility of human stupidity.

        I was scared of you in the beginning. Yes, I do prefer seas to the mountains but that did not mean you would always come in waves. There were Delta and Omicron and it was no fun surfing these.

        Of course, there were good parts of our relationship. You have put my mind at ease as earlier there used to be hundreds of unknown diseases to be dealt with. A fever could have meant dengue or a bacterial infection and a bout of loose motions or body ache matched myriads of fancy ailments on the internet but now all discomforts lead to Covid. Often when I do not feel anything, it might be the asymptomatic you. People think about you more than they think of their spouses.

        Yes, I do not like going to the market with my wife but that did not mean you had to keep everyone indoors for such a long time. Do not openly display your favoritism for the asocial people!

        All of us had become selfish and mean and often forgot to acknowledge the almighty. You reminded us of our frailty and brought us closer to God. You also reminded us how closely we are all connected. A sample of our species hanky pankied with a bat in China and there you were, knocking off humans and embracing all countries.

        You gave us a new language to communicate. Our youth was getting lost in social media memes and the elders were busy exchanging treasures of WhatsApp knowledge but you taught us a common vocabulary. Everybody had her own cure for Covid and now grand aunts and toddlers discuss zillion ways to treat Covid. Let me tell you the title of my next book is ‘One Thousand one ways of treating Covid’. Please stop smiling.

        Because of you, I now do not have any vitamin deficiencies. I have improved upon my immunity through Allopathic, potions of homeopathic and bitter seeds of ayurvedic medicines. My liver and kidney cry more than they do filtering spirits but I am sure my body now has minerals that may not even exist.

        I am also impressed by the immense respect you garnered in such a short time. Diseases that have been with humanity for hundreds of years shudder seeing you and worry that any spray of sanitizers may kill them when people are just acknowledging Covid.

        And after two years of our relationship, stop being a jealous lover who cannot get enough of humanity. People thought you would come once or twice but you never get bored of our bodies. Even vaccines are unable to keep you at bay.

        Love is good but do not overdo it. Be mild and live like an occasional epidemic, not a pandemic. Live and let live!

        Sick of you,

         Humanity

1 Article You Must Read Before Turning 120

               

                 “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces” said Will Rogers; you realise this man knew you well. Of course woods are lovely, dark and deep and you always rated sleep above everything else. You take a vow to succeed this time and not rest till you have checked all the boxes.   

         You ask Google what makes a person successful and it immediately presents Thirty books that you should read before you turn Thirty. You start checking the titles and you have read twenty nine. The moment you pick up the thirtieth book to become accomplished in life, your wife reminds you are nearing forty.  Deflating balloons has been this woman’s hobby. 

         She shows you another article about 12 mesmerising tourist places that you must visit before you die. You read the article attentively and discuss places but chuckle inside; why would a person try to complete this list and what would they wait for when they have visited all these paces. 

         By now, you have spent enough time on the Google and the Artificial Intelligence  jumps in joy shouting it knows what this man is looking in life. It bombards you with similar recommendations. You are told about 100 Movies that you should watch in your lifetime, you are asked to see 7 Motivational speeches and also 11 ways to remember names of people (why me Lord/AI?). 

         It puts neighbourhood aunts to shame in broadcasting secrets and in an instant Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn starts yelling numbers at you. Twitter tells you about 12 habits that will increase your wealth twelve times (did they discover my bank balance too?) and Facebook tells 6 healthy diets for a healthy life ( Wifey I know this is you). When you open LinkedIn is tells you about 21 Ways to succeed in life. 

         You challenge AI to surprise you but it is hardly intelligent if not stupid. It keeps relishing in repetitive data that it generates.  You tell about the fallacy of number systems and the undue importance it is giving to the decimal system. You tell in today’s age one deals in binaries of 1 and 0. You ask AI to check the system in which it computes and also refer to the title of this article. 

         Next day you start getting emails from numerologists about your lucky number and how they will help you in not sleeping in the woods. You blame the AI for tracking your number system study. You also give up your efforts to find success on Google.

 

 

Eklavya in the Modern Times!

 

                If we can be certain of improving at least one thing from the past, it can be efficiency in human transactions. Even before Adam Smith could articulate the invisible hand of the market, people learnt to make better deals than they did in the ancient times.

         Take the case of Eklavya of the Mahabharata fame. He practised in front of the statue of Dronacharya and aced archery better than Arjuna. I doubt there was any contractual/copyright liability but he did offer Dronacharya anything (was it his vanity?) as Gurudakshina, a tribute for training. Now comes the part that does not make sense, Dronacharya asked for his right thumb. I wonder what utility could a dead thumb give and more I think about a lifeless blood-soaked thumb in custody of Dronacharya, gory things come to mind. Would he have displayed it proudly in his office or would he have given it to someone as a souvenir? I guess had Dronacharya been business wise, he could have asked Eklavya never to compete against Arjun, or to always lose even if he did. Maybe he could have altogether given up Arjuna and an even better Magnum Opus would have appeared in place of Mahabharata.

         Despite the not so good ending, the above story proves India’s ability to have achieved every feat in the ancient age. This was our ancient version of commercialising Education, a feat that many institutions could master today. Not simply that, this was also an example of remote learning, an idea EdTech enterprises are trying out now.

         Many modern Dronacharyas are in the fray and Arjuna gets no monopoly over learning. Some Dronacharyas still sought blood in the form of hefty fees in lieu of issuing a certificate. Courses from Coursera, EdX still thought there was no difference between dollar and rupees; probably they were yet to discover the idea of Purchasing Power parity. There were also free avenues from Twitter/YouTube courtesy the money of dear Venture Capitalists. VC is a breed we all need to be deeply indebted. Sometime or the other, they did pay for our freebee.

         When yours truly tried to study in the Ivy Leagues, they did admit but sought more than just kidneys (read tuition fees) to study. EdTech came to the rescue in my quest for knowledge and best professors from across the world appeared on my computer screen. Today I have learnt more by sitting in front of the computer screen that I have from physical classrooms. You can make a virtual Dronacharya repeat something a zillion times and they do not get irritated. You can also reject many or leave them mid-way and they do not seem to mind. The best thing is lack of structure and one can dwell in diverse subjects. A recent wonder that I discovered is a podcast and the list of avenues is unending. We love anything that is free and what can be better than Education that has a positive externality.

         Coming back to the efficiency of modern times, Eklavya and Dronacharyas are collaborating now to create value for both the parties. Dear Arjuna, practice hard; you will have much more competition in the modern times. Also, Dronacharya now can make a much better deal!