Life has changed

The person who delivered milk at my house never knew me. But this time when I went home, I received a big ‘sahab namaste’ from him. Oh yes I remember, I have been selected in IAS and if I exaggerate just a bit, I can say that my entire city knew it.

Life has changed. From anonymity of being a student to that of being selected for the post of biggest babu of government, change is in something that can be called drastic. The incidences I would mention here may be totally irrelevant, but to me they appeared as a constant reminder that something has changed.

I became an interesting news item, or at least an item ‘worth’ reading. I got coverage in three four news articles, got my picture published in them, also did a live one hour TV interview (so what it was a small local channel), answered hundreds of viewers how they should prepare for civil services, what I am going to do for the country, how many hours I studied a day, whether I studied during the day or night and if I am going to take dowry in my marriage.

Not everything was good about this achievement. I got a sense of superiority complex. I felt confident while driving the car without my driving license. I imagined that if any traffic policeman caught me, I will say haven’t you read today’s newspaper, don’t you know me.

Whenever an unknown person stared at me, I felt he is trying to recognize me since he would have seen my picture in the newspapers. But to my dismay no one has recognized me till today and I am still waiting. Why people dont read newspapers seriously.

A big disadvantage of any big achievement is that you are made to meet all your relatives whom you have been able to evade for years in guise of studying. In last fifteen days I must have touched feet’s of at least five hundred people. I know this a good exercise for my back but I fear that it may be an overdose.

Another constant irritation is people asking constantly what happened in my interview. I don’t understand why people are not satisfied when I tell about my real, simple interview. To tell the truth, they are disappointed. My description comes an an antithesis to their imagination about an 'IAS Interview'. I have heard so many stories about IAS interviews that I am sure I will write a blog on it and mind you my original interview was'nt even half as interesting.

One thing I can see that from now onwards I have to be a people’s man. I no longer have the luxury to be confined in myself. But whatever it may be, I am enjoying all this.

Something from Past

This blog was written by me in october 2005 just before leaving the job at Asian Paints. I thought it was pretty personal so I did not publish it then. Now when I have got All India Rank 27 in civil services I think I am justifiedd in publishing this :-)

Yes I am going for it.

There was a kid in class 5th who dreamt of becoming an IAS officer. He lived with this idea, read long editorials in the newspaper, mugged CSR and did anything however stupid to live up his dream of becoming an IAS officer. Then he grew, realized the difficulties of life and gave up the idea.

That’s me. I was sure that I shall be going for IAS. Then at some point of time, I decided that I should enter the IIT to make my life secure. Lazy as I always was, I did not work hard to prepare for IAS during my stay at IIT. Life presented softer options and I went for them. One can take a good job, do an MBA, PhD or anything, but not taking up a job just for the sake of giving IAS exams looked a stupid idea. I decided to postpone the idea of appearing for IAS and went for a ‘good’ job. I wanted to play safe, make myself appear smart and present a successful image. The job was really good, probably among the best in the campus.

Just four months down the line I have money, prestige, envy of peers but still I am not satisfied. I feel I am betraying my dream. I do not want to wake up a morning when I turn 40 and feel that I did not had the guts to go for it. It may turn out to be a blunder; it may turn out to be a boon.

Whatever it may be, this is the best time to chase my dream.

IT’S MAGIC, IT’S MAGIC

UP elections, clean, without violence, without booth capturing, this certainly has to be magic. Election Commission (EC) has been touching new heights. First there were clean Bihar elections, then BJP had to declare that it ‘unequivocally condemns’ the communal CD and now this. EC is another face of India’s maturing polity.

Before TN Seshan, people hardly knew that EC had any powers. But after that there has been no looking back. Civil servants are certainly capable of delivering when they are giving sufficient freedom.

I can only say, ‘Be you ever so high, EC shall always be higher than you’.

Intoxicating

Music can be intoxicating. I have felt a different kind of happiness, a peace of mind, as if this is the best moment of my life. I have no ambitions, no fears, only calmness, serenity. Recently discovered Mehndi Hasan and this ghazal. Simply awesome

भूली बिसरी चांद उम्मीदें, चंद फसाने याद आये
तुम याद आये और तुम्हारे साथ ज़माने याद आये

दिल का चमन शादाब था फिर भी ख़ाक सी उडती रहती थी
कैसे ज़माने एबा मे जाना तेरे बहाने याद आये

ठंडी सर्द हवा के झौंके आग लगा कर छोर गए
फूल खिले शाखों पे नए और दर्द पुराने याद आये

हंसने वालों से डरते थे, छुप छुप कर रो लेते थे
गहरी गहरी सोच में डूबे दो दीवाने याद आये

Listen it here