Friday, July 14, 2017

Absolute Triumph of Idiocy!

Some things are beyond language!
You always felt it deep inside but couldn’t understand its full impact. In fact, great scientists failed to decipher it. Today we are talking about the absolute triumph of Idiocy, and that of dear idiots all around. This article is a humble ode although no words can do perfect justice to this amazing quality.
  • 1.    Unpredictability: Men thought that all problems can be solved by supercomputers. It can make myriad calculations in Nano seconds and predict behaviour/outcome of any event. Only one quality defeated supercomputers and that was idiocy. Even the best supercomputers fail to predict an idiot and as their random behaviour has no pattern. Dealing with an intelligent person war far simpler and supercomputers were willing to be called an idiot rather than trying to understand idiocy.
  • 2.     Omnipresence: It is the only quality on this earth that is truly omnipresent. It surpasses the artificial boundaries of nationality, religion, caste or creed and is spread evenly across rich/poor, young/old and beautiful/ugly. If there is any place where mankind exists, rest assured you will find idiots.   
  • 3.     Numerical Superiority: The only thing that matters in this world is the numbers and idiots by far outnumber intelligent people. Idiots also never feel lonely as they always find company. They have unimaginable numerical superiority and in a democracy, they also choose the public representatives hence all elected representatives are especially sensitive to idiocy.   
  • 4.     Social media compatibility: This is the digital age and all social media platforms are idiocy compatible. They have features especially suited to idiots and their entire architecture is based on it. People livestream idiocy and new people keep on learning from it. Different options are provided to spread it through pictures/status updates/tweets and no so social media platform can ignore this need to spread idiocy.
  • 5.     Unimaginable Variety: The variety of idiots in this world exceeds the number of living species. There are idiots of zillion varieties and till today new idiots are beings located at astounding pace. Take an idiot of any field be it politics, religion or social butterflies and for every idiot on this earth, equal and opposite idiot exists.
  • 6.     Tailor made for Lovers: Anyone who has ever fallen in love will vouch for this. When a person is in love, she/he happily does what is idiotic, love’s default mode is idiocy. For all intelligent snobs behaving haughtily, the probability of idiots finding love is disproportionately high. You now know the reason why you are or aren’t with the hottest person in town.   
  • 7.     No Medicine Can Tame it: All artificial attempts to turn an idiot into intelligent have failed through the ages. You might swallow Almonds for all your life or drink ‘Shankh Pushpi’ but one can never get rid of idiocy. Even attempts to sharpen brain by playing Sudoku have failed miserable. For the idiots of this world only, Bollywood invented the saying ‘अब इन्हें दवा की नहीं, दुआ की ज़रुरत है’.
  • 8.     Always on display: The favourite contest of this world is ‘See, I am an idiot’. The competition for deciding the winner is fiery.  Just look around and people find new ways to display it. The easiest example is English news channels in the guise of nation needing to know something. In reality, nation relishes watching idiocy; high TRP of such channels is a testimony to it. Entire market research of big companies is dedicated on making people more idiotic.
  • 9.     None of us could escape is: Idiocy has proved to be more infectious that any bacteria or virus and spreads with ease. Entire societies get afflicted by different sorts of idiocy daily. No person on this earth could claim to have totally escaped it. It also has a hibernating quality and can appear after ages even in most intelligent people. In fact, it can co-exist and the sharpest person can be idiotic at the same time.   
  • 10.  Happiness and Idiocy: Research has proved there is a deep correlation between being an idiot and being happy. An intelligent person worries about so many things and always finds a reason to be disappointed, an idiot is happy with a silver lining. In fact, an idiot is just happy. Now you know why ignorance is bliss.
  • 11.   The Paradox of Idiocy: One can never understand all this and enjoy it at the same time. Once a person realises she/he has been an idiot, they further can’t be. This is the paradox of idiocy, you can only enjoy it only if you do not realise it. After that you can only envy!
  • PS: In case you find this offensive, let the world know at your own risk :P

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