Because Commitment means Everything!

You were always committed to whatever you did. You also believed that first step to be serious in anything was committing yourself financially, so that you automatically give your best into it.

When you decided to learn Lawn Tennis, you were so serious that you coughed up three months’ salary to buy best racket. Though you gave up the game after three days and decided to first build up stamina instead, (and though you dread to mention it in front of your better half) you are till date committed to the idea of learning Lawn Tennis.

So, after taking Guitar lessons on a not so good borrowed instrument, you realised main reason for your less than satisfactory progress was lack of serious engagement. You had your eureka moment when you realised westerners played Guitar well due to the quality of their set. You immediately knew you had to buy an imported equipment.

After doing online survey half the night and then accepting Grammy award in the remaining half while sleeping, you were fully prepared to own up new set. Online Samaritans had warned about salesmen tricking people into buying unnecessary accessories and you chuckled at being too smart to be fooled by such things.

You entered the famed Kolkata showroom of this famous brand and realised it was somewhat smaller than in your dreams. It ended almost as soon as it began, but then you realised the proprietor was a Bengali and hence, the simplicity. You were happy that you will not be billed extra for externalities.

If you ever have been to a Marwari or Sindhi shop, you will realise how they scream customers are God and then show you entire stuff of their showroom. You end up buying unnecessary items but Bengalis are egalitarian and they may even refuse to sell you something they deem you are not fit to use.

You thanked your stars for finding this economical showroom but wondered how four salesmen were stuffed into such a small space. You know any professional help you needed was now just next to you. You took your time observing various Guitar sets and took mental note of it. After thirty minutes when you had minutely observed everything, you realised any salesman was yet to express an iota of interest in you.

The one at the cash counter was seriously playing solitaire on his computer. By the look on his face you realised he was defending some international championship. Two others were debating American imperialism and hateful policies of Donald Trump. You were amazed by their knowledge and could not help but appreciate the overall awareness.

You decided to intrude into the space of fourth salesman who was aimlessly loitering in the showroom. You encircled him like a bee and gathered courage to ask him for Guitar sets. He wasn’t exactly pleased yet asked what you exactly wanted. You mentioned a price cap and he took out a Guitar and handed it to you. Buying anything was never so simple.

You wondered if you should ask for opening the wrapper but he was now busy talking on his mobile. You played the polythene above guitar strings for complete fifteen minutes and displayed you were no novice. As soon as he ended the call, you pointed towards another Guitar set gesturing him to take it out. In a fraction of a second, myriads of expressions crossed his face all of which screamed you had betrayed him. He curtly said that Guitar was expensive.

You now felt offended and wanted to tell him your credit card limit. You also wanted to say your spectacles though thick and unattractive were Ray Ban and you were wearing Calvin Klein Shirt and Levis jeans. Before you could react, he suddenly left the shop screaming to the guy on computer that it was lunch time.

The only thing that mattered in this world now was salvaging your pride. You told the guy at counter in stern voice that you wanted to buy the same Guitar that the salesman had termed as expensive. There was an authority in your voice and you never felt more confident in life. The guy at the counter nodded politely as if he had at last understood your worth. Your back was erect and your neck was so straight that you examined the ceiling.

You waited and waited and waited and then realised Bengal was the first province to get bureaucracy in the British times. Billing was some serious business and something that they deeply respected. All three salesmen combined their strength and settled on the model number after verifying hundreds of documents. They were also extremely cautious in writing the bill and you could not help but appreciate their neat handwriting.

All three of them bowed gently when you left and started discussing strengths and weaknesses of Irish Football team. You sort of liked them now. You confidently carried the imported Guitar with a swag and were now committed to it for your whole life.

You quietly tear the bill before entering the house lest your better half one day discovers it.

Disclaimer: इस कहानी के सभी पात्र और घटनाएं काल्पनिक हैं. इसका उद्देश्य किसी भी व्यक्ति, धर्म, समुदाय अथवा जाति को ठेस पहुँचाना नहीं है. बावजूद इसके, किसी भी real or imagined असुविधा के लिए खेद है. 

How to make the most of Meetings!

No other event in any organisation is productive as its meetings. The number of tasks that are accomplished through meetings are infinite and seven of them are listed now:

1.     Your boss has made life difficult in office and daily dose of Lauki, Taroi and Palak for dinner at home doesn’t help. There was an odd nostril hair peeping in and out but never had the ‘me time’ to take care of that. Once you are in a meeting with a promising power point, lights slightly dim to let northward pointing graphs (each taller than its predecessor) leave their mark and optimistic sound of the speaker acting as a lullaby, you get the perfect ‘me time’ you were waiting for.

2.     Despite your deep sense of meditation all this time, something still penetrated your eardrums and you now know what your organisation is working on, what you are working on and what you have always been working upon. You get that perfect ‘Eureka’ moment and feel excited about whatever work you have been doing/ not doing for a long time.

3.     You notice gloomy faces of your office colleagues, their increasing waistline, receding hairline and now you feel that you are not the only one with a dull life. You try to fool your heart that you are not missing out much on life.

4.     Imagination is the most important ability needed to survive in life. You craft a story why something did not work in the past, pull out reasons/excuses why present performance is bad and boast ‘acche din’ all have been waiting for a long time. You realise there was a philosopher inside you waiting to come out for a long time.

5.     Meetings help to scratch each other’s back and celebrate trifles like achievements. You can cut cakes, celebrate success and pose for pictures for the annual magazine. You may further agree on new ways to waste each other’s time and list out subjects on which further meetings are required. In case something has gone wrong, you can minute it in the meeting and claim ‘I told you so’ alibi.

6.     Meeting are like those free periods in school that allows you do whatever you have wanted to do for a long time. You can sketch, write and catch some sleep during this time. You can also utilise this time on social media, post pictures with #deepinwork/#amazingteam and update your profile.

7.     Meetings provide a reason to utilize the departmental budget to eat, distribute exotic stationary and just to make sure participants feel valued shower souvenir(gifts) at times. You try new sandwiches, cashews and devour candies. As mentioned in this article before, meetings also provide a perfect opportunity to prove you are smart!