On Aphorisms and Youth!

I love aphorisms. They are the best examples of the use of language and make you realize deep truths; they also establish your reputation in wisecracks. The same goes with Urdu Shayari; one can impress many by reciting a relevant (or maybe not) couplet. 

One couplet of Jaun Eliya has stayed with me:

ज़िंदगी एक फ़न है लम्हों को 

अपने अंदाज़ से गँवाने का

It may mean that the art of life is only in doing things you like. One should never live anyone else’s life; many will feel inspired by this in following their passion. Beauty is one can derive the meaning that one wants. If it doesn’t inspire you, the couplet can mean it is okay to waste time but have your way to do it. If you prefer this meaning, you would also love another aphorism: ‘time enjoyed wasting is not wasted time. 

If you insist on my take on this couplet, I bring another aphorism to my rescue. Oscar Wilde said all art is quite useless and this was a sort of revolution at that time. It means the objective of art (and aphorisms/couplets) is just an expression of a beautiful art form. Some things are just for enjoyment, one should avoid finding usefulness in everything. 

A quote often attributed to George Bernard Shaw has got me thinking: ‘Youth is wasted on the Young.’ This gave rise to many questions; is this true, am I young and did I also get caught up in this?

A memory that I often repent of flashed up immediately. There was a beautiful day in Paris and I was there for a couple of days in my early twenties. I felt extremely tired and the choice was to go out to explore or crash out on the couch. The choice was easy for me and I spent the day sleeping. My younger self never even felt that I might not be there again soon. It has been more than twenty years and I am still to visit the city again. As and when there is a time machine delivering messages, I would tell my younger self to prefer exploring Paris over snoring. 

Before the scenario looks gloomy, my optimistic self assures me that I did crack two of the toughest exams (IIT and IAS) in my youth so I probably did not completely waste it. Leaving the humour aside, we often miss giving importance to things when time is on our side. Young are confident that life is only a one-way uphill drive and you can catch up with whatever you leave behind. 

Does the question also remain what is youth? Is it the age when your hair is not grey, your waistline has not yet started bulging and you are in your teens or twenties? Is youth having immense physical energy and unbounded dreams? Is youth falling in love, picking up new hobbies or not being afraid to take risks? Or maybe youth is an insatiably desire to explore whatever is on offer in this life? 

It is said, When our memories outweigh our dreams, it is then that we become old.' I carry my share of good-bad memories but they still in no way outweigh my dreams. So, I have my answer now. 

When I am in doubt, I read these lines by Javed Akhtar:

दिलों में तुम अपनी बेताबियाँ लेके चल रहे हो, तो ज़िंदा हो तुम

नज़र में ख्वाबों की बिजलियाँ लेके चल रहे हो, तो ज़िंदा हो तुम

हवा के झोकों के जैसे आज़ाद रहना सीखो

तुम एक दरियाँ के जैसे लहरों में बहना सीखो

हर एक लम्हें से तुम मिलो खोले अपनी बाहें

हर एक पल एक नया समा देखे यह निगाहें

जो अपनी आँखों में हैरानियाँ लेके चल रहे हो, तो ज़िंदा हो तुम

दिलों में तुम अपनी बेताबियाँ लेके चल रहे हो, तो ज़िंदा हो तुम

What is your definition of youth?

To Covid, With Love!

 Dear Covid,

 I cannot even believe that it is going to be our second anniversary; the entire credit goes to your mutant agility. I would be economical with the truth if I don’t concede that we tried our best to shut you out but like a real dogged lover, you were determined to be with humanity. I realize we are destined to be together for a lifetime so let me open my heart, my dearest Covid.

        We imposed lockdowns, created hurdles of geographical boundaries to not let you in but you never left our pursuit. We often banged utensils and shouted ‘Go Corona Go’ on the streets, we made people bathe in sanitizing tunnels and sprayed gallons of toxic chemicals all around but there you were, just amused at the infallibility of human stupidity.

        I was scared of you in the beginning. Yes, I do prefer seas to the mountains but that did not mean you would always come in waves. There were Delta and Omicron and it was no fun surfing these.

        Of course, there were good parts of our relationship. You have put my mind at ease as earlier there used to be hundreds of unknown diseases to be dealt with. A fever could have meant dengue or a bacterial infection and a bout of loose motions or body ache matched myriads of fancy ailments on the internet but now all discomforts lead to Covid. Often when I do not feel anything, it might be the asymptomatic you. People think about you more than they think of their spouses.

        Yes, I do not like going to the market with my wife but that did not mean you had to keep everyone indoors for such a long time. Do not openly display your favoritism for the asocial people!

        All of us had become selfish and mean and often forgot to acknowledge the almighty. You reminded us of our frailty and brought us closer to God. You also reminded us how closely we are all connected. A sample of our species hanky pankied with a bat in China and there you were, knocking off humans and embracing all countries.

        You gave us a new language to communicate. Our youth was getting lost in social media memes and the elders were busy exchanging treasures of WhatsApp knowledge but you taught us a common vocabulary. Everybody had her own cure for Covid and now grand aunts and toddlers discuss zillion ways to treat Covid. Let me tell you the title of my next book is ‘One Thousand one ways of treating Covid’. Please stop smiling.

        Because of you, I now do not have any vitamin deficiencies. I have improved upon my immunity through Allopathic, potions of homeopathic and bitter seeds of ayurvedic medicines. My liver and kidney cry more than they do filtering spirits but I am sure my body now has minerals that may not even exist.

        I am also impressed by the immense respect you garnered in such a short time. Diseases that have been with humanity for hundreds of years shudder seeing you and worry that any spray of sanitizers may kill them when people are just acknowledging Covid.

        And after two years of our relationship, stop being a jealous lover who cannot get enough of humanity. People thought you would come once or twice but you never get bored of our bodies. Even vaccines are unable to keep you at bay.

        Love is good but do not overdo it. Be mild and live like an occasional epidemic, not a pandemic. Live and let live!

        Sick of you,

         Humanity

1 Article You Must Read Before Turning 120

               

                 “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces” said Will Rogers; you realise this man knew you well. Of course woods are lovely, dark and deep and you always rated sleep above everything else. You take a vow to succeed this time and not rest till you have checked all the boxes.   

         You ask Google what makes a person successful and it immediately presents Thirty books that you should read before you turn Thirty. You start checking the titles and you have read twenty nine. The moment you pick up the thirtieth book to become accomplished in life, your wife reminds you are nearing forty.  Deflating balloons has been this woman’s hobby. 

         She shows you another article about 12 mesmerising tourist places that you must visit before you die. You read the article attentively and discuss places but chuckle inside; why would a person try to complete this list and what would they wait for when they have visited all these paces. 

         By now, you have spent enough time on the Google and the Artificial Intelligence  jumps in joy shouting it knows what this man is looking in life. It bombards you with similar recommendations. You are told about 100 Movies that you should watch in your lifetime, you are asked to see 7 Motivational speeches and also 11 ways to remember names of people (why me Lord/AI?). 

         It puts neighbourhood aunts to shame in broadcasting secrets and in an instant Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn starts yelling numbers at you. Twitter tells you about 12 habits that will increase your wealth twelve times (did they discover my bank balance too?) and Facebook tells 6 healthy diets for a healthy life ( Wifey I know this is you). When you open LinkedIn is tells you about 21 Ways to succeed in life. 

         You challenge AI to surprise you but it is hardly intelligent if not stupid. It keeps relishing in repetitive data that it generates.  You tell about the fallacy of number systems and the undue importance it is giving to the decimal system. You tell in today’s age one deals in binaries of 1 and 0. You ask AI to check the system in which it computes and also refer to the title of this article. 

         Next day you start getting emails from numerologists about your lucky number and how they will help you in not sleeping in the woods. You blame the AI for tracking your number system study. You also give up your efforts to find success on Google.

 

 

Eklavya in the Modern Times!

 

                If we can be certain of improving at least one thing from the past, it can be efficiency in human transactions. Even before Adam Smith could articulate the invisible hand of the market, people learnt to make better deals than they did in the ancient times.

         Take the case of Eklavya of the Mahabharata fame. He practised in front of the statue of Dronacharya and aced archery better than Arjuna. I doubt there was any contractual/copyright liability but he did offer Dronacharya anything (was it his vanity?) as Gurudakshina, a tribute for training. Now comes the part that does not make sense, Dronacharya asked for his right thumb. I wonder what utility could a dead thumb give and more I think about a lifeless blood-soaked thumb in custody of Dronacharya, gory things come to mind. Would he have displayed it proudly in his office or would he have given it to someone as a souvenir? I guess had Dronacharya been business wise, he could have asked Eklavya never to compete against Arjun, or to always lose even if he did. Maybe he could have altogether given up Arjuna and an even better Magnum Opus would have appeared in place of Mahabharata.

         Despite the not so good ending, the above story proves India’s ability to have achieved every feat in the ancient age. This was our ancient version of commercialising Education, a feat that many institutions could master today. Not simply that, this was also an example of remote learning, an idea EdTech enterprises are trying out now.

         Many modern Dronacharyas are in the fray and Arjuna gets no monopoly over learning. Some Dronacharyas still sought blood in the form of hefty fees in lieu of issuing a certificate. Courses from Coursera, EdX still thought there was no difference between dollar and rupees; probably they were yet to discover the idea of Purchasing Power parity. There were also free avenues from Twitter/YouTube courtesy the money of dear Venture Capitalists. VC is a breed we all need to be deeply indebted. Sometime or the other, they did pay for our freebee.

         When yours truly tried to study in the Ivy Leagues, they did admit but sought more than just kidneys (read tuition fees) to study. EdTech came to the rescue in my quest for knowledge and best professors from across the world appeared on my computer screen. Today I have learnt more by sitting in front of the computer screen that I have from physical classrooms. You can make a virtual Dronacharya repeat something a zillion times and they do not get irritated. You can also reject many or leave them mid-way and they do not seem to mind. The best thing is lack of structure and one can dwell in diverse subjects. A recent wonder that I discovered is a podcast and the list of avenues is unending. We love anything that is free and what can be better than Education that has a positive externality.

         Coming back to the efficiency of modern times, Eklavya and Dronacharyas are collaborating now to create value for both the parties. Dear Arjuna, practice hard; you will have much more competition in the modern times. Also, Dronacharya now can make a much better deal!

How Less Can Be More!

         A child expects that her parents are omnipotent. She expects and demands everything from them and at times, parents surprise with what they can do for the child. In a democracy, citizens like petulant child expect the same from the government. Unfortunately, this time the consequences are not that good for both.

           We always want perfect solutions and Government comes across as the Santa Clause that fulfils all wishes. For e.g. when we want to control crime against women, Government is expected to come out with the harshest laws that gives severest punishment to the perpetrator of the crime. So far, so good; but then comes the issue of capability. Do we have enough policemen to file a perfect charge sheet in the court and scientifically collect and preserve the evidence? A cursory glance at number of policemen per one lakh population and the images of any court Maal khana would tell world is far from perfect. Harshest punishment also means guilt is established beyond doubt and ultimately, we end up finding most accused not guilty.
           My premise is that citizen expect everything from the government and in a competitive electoral polity, the government promises; without considering if it has the capability to deliver it. Let us take our labor laws as an example. Their formulation must be best in the world, which may even put developed countries to shame. There are penalties for paying less than mandated wage, daily and weekly limits for hours of work and compensation/punishment for accidents due to employers’ negligence. What we fail to put in place before is a perfect measure that can enforce it. The end result is arbitrary power in the hand of labor inspector for rent seeking. The labor laws end up hurting both the workers and the industry.
           A policy is as good as its implementation mechanism. Government systems have their limitations and passing a law in the parliament may not change it. We need properly trained people on the ground implementing polices, technical support to assist it and grievance redressal mechanism to address problems if any. If a scheme is simple and its outcome is easily measurable, it can be enforced on ground. A best scheme that promises everything has more change of failing on ground that a good enough scheme with limited objectives.
           The premise is that less can be more in such circumstances. If we have reasonable expectations from the Government, we may end up getting more. Responsible Governments may also estimate implementing capability and resist from promising the moon to the citizenry!

Mind is Restless Krishna!

The mock interview panel stared at me and there I was, sweating, stammering and uttering incoherent words. Bored faces of panel members betrayed the impression that I made. This was the third mock interview that I had bombed. 

UPSC Civil Service exam process lasts for more than a year from the time you apply for prelims and when the final results come. I had done pretty well before, crossing hurdles of prelims and mains in my maiden attempt and now after getting an interview call, I dreamt of topping the exam. I was confident that it could only be a northwards graph from here on.

But then came mock interviews and my performance was a disaster. My confident, articulate self was nowhere to be found and this needed to change fast. My strategy was not working and I reread what UPSC wrote about the interview: Personality Test is not a cross-examination but a natural, though directed and purposive conversation which is intended to reveal the mental qualities of the candidate. 

I took a complete break and asked myself what was going on. I went on long walks, sat quietly for hours to introspect and reflect.And one morning while I was walking near a temple, I heard the shloka that cleared my doubts:

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन ।
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भुर्मा ते संगोऽस्त्वकर्मणि ॥

You have the right to work only but never to its fruits

Let not fruits of action be your motive, nor let your attachment be to inaction

I was attaching too much importance on my result. I wanted to control the future, and thus I wanted to control everything else. It was difficult to get detached but then it made sense that other than doing my karma to the best of my ability, I could not do anything else. I internalised it and I did not get nervous during the real interview. I also cleared the exam and joined Indian Administrative Service (IAS). 

Men are mortal and who can put all their efforts in something and not be worried about the results. Even today, I have a restless state of mind but I understand my limitations now. The verse though that is resonating now is one of Ghalib:

                                      phir kuchh ik dil ko be-qarārī hai

                                      siina juyā-e-zaḳhm-e-kārī hai 

                                      (My heart is again restless, it seeks a deeper wound.)

On Being Self-Reliant!

You were not taken by surprise this time. When the new task of becoming self-reliant was announced, you had already aced the game by then.

Your office made you self-reliant first. It decided to enforce lockdown on office staff and then asked you to ensure entire office’s job. You never realized you were so important in mankind’s struggle against corona virus. Everyday you felt like going to war expecting your wife to put tilak on your forehead. When you came back, everyone had the glance of ‘this is the person who can bring back corona virus’. You sat in office for days in company of masks and sanitizers and washed your hand with soap, then disinfected it with sanitizer and then cleansed the sanitizer bottle with sanitizer. 

You were introduced to a world of Zoom VCs where ‘Am I audible’ accounted for 75% of words. You became an expert in entertaining yourself and laugh out aloud when participants displayed nasal hairs, showed closeup of their ears or tried to cross over to the other side of computer screen by coming close to the camera. 

Your sons also became self-reliant. Their schools started classes online and they could manage all their homework during the lockdown. They learnt the art of all arts and started copy pasting from internet with panache. They became explorers of digital devices and soon every gadget had versions of exotic computer viruses they sheltered them with pride. Since lockdown meant both of them stayed indoors, you became expert in deciding who won their boxing bouts. 

Your parents became corona experts. They found new cures averaging 2.7 in a day and between your family WhatsApp group, there were more than 10001 cures of Corona Virus. They also knew by heart, virtues of each ayurvedic medicine/Vitamins. You realized there was nothing new in Social distancing and you have led a socially distant life but your family learnt the art of being in a group even while being apart. They mingled with frenzied flat owners and joined competition of banging utensils or shining torchlights in this Corona War. 

You never knew entire body building could be done inside the house. You could work up your biceps mopping floors and you could do all the stretching with broom in hand. You also became an innovator and designed ergonomically better Brooms and Mops. You relished in praising yourself on sparkling floors and claimed pro level but your better half could still show you fifteen missed spots. 

Since everyone was becoming self-sufficient, your housing society decided it could not be left behind. It decided to interpret convoluted lockdown circulars in their own stride and found thirty-three explanations for each clause. There was a silent competition in RWAs to decide who was bigger Hitler in the town. They decided which essential item was essential at what time and when one was supposed to wear a mask and who was required to take a sanitizer bath. Residents found new ways to humiliate by clicking pictures of those walking out and naming/shaming them on WhatsApp. 

Everyone could locate bacteria/viruses and they had 1001 ideas about where virus could hide. People poured disinfectant in the drains, they threw disinfectant on the road and battery of all microorganisms/insects cursed Corona Virus. People took smaller breaths in the lift, used toothpicks to push lift buttons and then lost sleep imagining if even those had a human touch. Sound of coughing/sneezing in the vicinity created tremors of flight and there were thermal guns at every check point. 

People also became independent in finding cause of Covid-19. Some found it in bats, some in Chinese labs and many saw it emerging like all other evils (and ably aided by news channels), in particular creeds. 

After valiantly fighting Corona Virus for so many days, everyone was self-reliant. They could explain it was for their own protection to stay indoors when there were 100 cases. They now also knew it was for their own good to go out and embrace the world when more than 1,00,000 were carrying Corona Virus. 

You felt you could either laugh or cry but then decided to recommend Edgar Allan Poe’s ‘The Masque of Red Death’ to everyone who could read this far!Y

MCTP Day 12: Promises are the Sweetest Lies!

मैं अकेला ही चला था जानिब-ए-मंज़िल मगर

लोग साथ आते गए और कारवाँ बनता गया

This couplet by Majrooh Sultanpuri somewhat describes the trainings in LBSNAA. When I made the promise that I would write a blog every day, I felt I would have a lot of time here, with not many batch mates around. But then I made friends. 

Aren’t promises the sweetest lies!

So here we are, learning through movies, learning through games and learning through our experiences. A day was spent in taking and receiving feedbacks and that was fun. Another day was dedicated to emotional intelligence. Days like that come in and go by and evenings are dedicated for long walks with friends.

On last Saturday, we had a trek till Wishing Well (these destination names on hill stations never fail to amaze) and that was amazing. Most of the lectures were as good as they ought to be and we felt nothing less than being enriched. I guess academy is like parent’s place for a married girl; you may be whatever in the field, in LBSNAA you feel back in home.

There is a world outside and there is a world in the academy, and if you ask me now which one do I like, this is the place! 

Day 3 MCTP: The Story!

Phase III runs has participants from different batches and you suddenly realise that your story was also their story. All batches had similar events, similar issues and similar memories. It is just that the actors change.


Again we had group photo session, again we had cultural societies and again people were rushing for Hot Maggi outside at Ganga Dhaba. For us, we continued with our walks and treks. Todays trek was to a nearby Buddhist Monastry.

Academy on their end taught us or let us say tried to teach us Behavioural economics and art of giving feedbacks. Not all of us were convinced how feedback would be taken, including by the academy. This encouraged fellow officers to give honest feedback to each other creating social disharmony in an otherwise aloof group. But we should give credit where it is due and faculty did try their best to explain these concepts.



Taking liberty with a couplet of Abbas Tabish:

"ये academy की कहानी नहीं मरती लेकिन
लोग किरदार निभाते हुए मर जाते हैं "

Day 2 MCTP: Academy is 'the academy'!

And how can it be 'Happy Valley' when sleepy probationers are mandated to be there at 6 am in shivering Mussorie cold for morning PT? A big concern during our earlier phase in LBSNAA was mandatory morning physical activity. There, the roaring sound of PT instructor (mostly Ranaji, the big moustached, old young man) echoed. Mostly he was shouting at dozing Officer Trainees who tried to pass off uncoordinated limb movements as PT.

This time we missed it and were there by ourselves for in the PT ground(timing though now was 6.45am). Academy also gives multiple options like Gym, Cycling, Yoga, PT etc and for the first day we opted for Cycling. There is a cycle that we have seen and then there is a cycle with 3*8 gears and welcoming steep slopes of the mountain. We negotiated with the terrain and cold, but came back happy (and often boasting) to the Happy Valley.

Lectures reminded us that they still are the best lullaby. On a serious note, most were interesting. An instructor rated us the most critically analysing group in present politico-social eco system of the country. We were not sure what it meant but found it flattering. Then there were sessions on Eating right, iGOT and e-learning facility of DoPT. Always there are questions of fellow participants whose sole contribution is delays in tea break timing.

But despite all this academy is 'the academy'!


  

Day 1- MCTP LBSNAA

After more that ten years, I am back at the Lal Bahadur Shastri National Academy of Administration (LBSNAA), this time for Phase III. I started blogging sometime in 2006 and most of my blog posts were during the period when I was at the academy (2007-09). This time let me try to write daily entries for four weeks I am at this place.

The first thought that comes being back is nostalgia of last time; oh here we sat sipping tea during session breaks, here we walked in the evenings and here was the last time we sat with a friend who is no more with us now. Also the thought that academy has changed significantly. The quality of rooms is much better this time (or may be we are somewhat senior). There are new hostels and buildings.

On the academic front, first day was not that hectic. Cabinet Secretary Sri Rajiv Gauba was here along with DoPT Secretary Sri C. Chandramouli. Their lectures were reassuring and they touched about the role and challenges for IAS as a service. Academy Director and other faculty were genuinely warm and good.

A long walk in the evening refreshed old memories. Mussoorie is beautiful (and cold too). It feels


good to be back at the learning desk, good to be a student again and great to be back at the academy!

Cakes and Kites of the Past!

It used to be a ritual you looked forward to, going to your grandparents’ place in the village during summer vacations. Now you are there after many years; you still feel the house is welcoming you with a smile. Soon the memories come in a flash, like a pack of cards disregarding the order of time!

There you are with uncles and aunts celebrating your 8^th birthday and mom next to you beaming with pride. You never noticed how beautiful she looked. You sit on a stool and relatives come to put a tilak on your forehead and hand some cash. Through the corner of your eyes you look at it and total the cash. A local sweet hastily arranged in the form of cake is something you bargained as a boy from town.

From being a shy child, you turn into a performer next year. You had crammed some jokes form a children’s magazine and at any request, you recite them to bemused aunts. Today you wonder why they always laughed at the same jokes. Maybe you were their mirror to a different world, maybe they just loved you with all their heart.

Your father has bought you a kite but you do not know how to make it fly. An elder boy is given this task by your mom and you are jumping with joy when the kite kisses the sky. He hands it over to you and you pull the string suavely as if you are an accomplished kites’ man.

This year your grandfather has turned this into a pukka house. He is energetically giving all of you tour of this house and there is a twinkle in his eyes. He has made this house and you can sense his pride. Something tells you he left us years back.  

The new pukka stairs, made of stone were pointed and steep and you had to be careful when you climbed; mom kept repeating watch your steps. You loved to be there when roof was washed with water after hot summer afternoons. All slept on the open roof and often there were stories of spirits and shadows. Many vouched to have seen them and shared their experience. With each story your interest grew and you held tightly to your mom.

Once there was a thunderstorm and it rained all night. All were squeezed in a small room and elders hardly slept. They talked about their lives and when you woke up, they were still discussing something. Your mom gently caressed your forehead.  

Now everyone is playing Holi, and faces are hard to recognise. You are eleven this time. Everyone is smiling and there are happy faces all around, you could sense a warmth that existed in middle class extended families. You led a gang of children, hiding in the corners and surprise people with your fish shaped water gun.

You now remember some of them have left this world. Your aunt who was the most active one that day, gave in to cancer. The family got six months to bid goodbye. A boy who was just becoming a man would die before entering thirties. Wherever you looked at that house, people smiled at you saying hello from the time passed by. It is an eerie feeling, to realise so many people who are part of your memories are not around. You are jolted out from your dreams.

Now you feel house is not same anymore. There are odd extensions everywhere, an extra room carved out here, the open area behind covered to a great extent. Unknown tenants stay in parts and they look at you curiously. You try to find a familiar face but you cannot.

You look at your grandmother, she has wrinkled skin and every time your meet her, she grows even older. She puts a hand on your forehead and mumbles something which you find hard to decipher. She asks about an ailment that you had as a child and you wonder if like your memories, she has also lost sense of time. Your son is excited to meet her and asks her zillion questions. She hardly answers but is happy at his exuberance.

She came in pair with your grandfather and after he left, you find it difficult to accept her individual existence. She needs support for everything, to sit, to walk. She cries when you leave and so does your mom; you feel a growing lump in your throat and avoid looking at her for long.  Every time you see her, there is an unsaid thought that this meeting might be the last. She is a gateway to your childhood; she is your gateway to a time gone by and you want her to carry on and on!