Reservations on Economic Lines

I am not going to discuss reservation and its pros and cons. What I intend to do here is to present my take on reservation proposed from time to time based on economic criterion.

First we should understand why to have reservations in the first place. One answer is, to provide a level playing field to the marginalized sections of the society. If this is the reason, economic criterion may well qualify for becoming the basis of reservation. But there is more to it.

Reservation is a form of penance for wrongs done in the past by our forefathers. Certain castes were deliberately oppressed for ages by the Varna system. Because of centuries of institutionalized oppression, most people from those castes remain backward even today. Reservation is an effort to give them their true share and bring them at par with other sections of the society. We now have reservations because some wrong had been committed in the past.

Now the case I keep on hearing that the basis of reservation should be economic. So we should ponder why people are poor, especially those belonging to the forward castes. Was it fault of the society, or it was some form of injustice? I guess not. People from forward castes were not prevented by the society from becoming prosperous. Their poverty was the result of reasons concerning solely themselves and not the society as a whole. So there is no penance required for a crime not committed.

In fact reservations on economic lines will mean reservations in perpetuity. There will always be poor in the society. Won’t it be a disincentive for working hard and becoming rich. Why should the family which toiled and became prosperous suffer vis a vis that whose efforts were not so great and it remained poor. It shall not be justice.

I do not intend to say that I support reservation or am against it. That is a different matter altogether. My only point is to present my case that reservation based on economic lines is a flawed concept having no proper justification for it.

Just a Talk

The story was really simple. He loved this girl, the girl loved him and then there was no other issue. I mean no other issue from the parent’s side.

His parents were basically moderate and they already knew about their relationship. Wait a minute, who says. Well, they must have known by now, it had already been nine years; he had talked to her for hours on phone in front of them. But!

So there was this unexplainable problem, how to make the already knowing parents know that he was in a relationship. The meaning is that they would have never objected but still one needs to tell them formally. He belonged to a middle class family with a set of values. By values, it is meant the kind of parent’s who find it hard to utter the words like girlfriend, relationship etc. They talk about their son’s marriage to all their relatives but not with him.

Now he delayed the matter as long as he could but then it is hard convincing a girl who wants to get married. His girlfriend desperately wanted that he should formally let his parents know. I need you to have ‘Just a talk’ was what his girlfriend told him.Only those having a close understanding of Indian families can appreciate the precariousness of 'Just a Talk'.

So after days of excuses and many ultimatums from his girlfriend, he gave up. It had to be do or die. He called up his mother, talked for fifteen minutes about her health, weather, traffic hazards of Delhi etc, took a deep breadth and shot the question point blank, “What have you thought about my marriage”. See simple.

Well he had tried to smile a bit and give it a humorous look, but the effect of his voice came somewhat like a serious Greek tragedy. There was this heavy silence that followed with some heavy breathing on both sides. There are moments when to speak something, you have to move your cheeks really hard. Both of them uttered some vague words but he could not recollect them ever.

After this he took a recluse from this world. He told his girlfriend whatever be the consequences, he is never going to breach the subject again. It was a gross violation of the family norms. For next three days, the phone of his mother came and he received them well making sure that discussion is always on formal lines. They again talked about heat, weather and relatives.

On the fourth day, his mother was in no mood to give up. She must have tried really hard but ultimately she made things really easy for him and made him talk. Thus this simple story had this happy ending and he was relieved that he will never have to do this ever again.

The Omnipotent

I cannot say if I noticed him when I first saw him. I had gone to a small restaurant for dinner and he was the waiter serving there. He must have been nearly twelve years of age, thin, dark, and shrill voiced; identical to thousands other like him. Thus he had nothing which attracts the attention of anyone.

I gave the order and he copied it obediently. While waiting for the order to come, I somehow noticed him staring at the dishes he was going to serve at the tables. This looked to be his usual practice. He looked hungry and was perhaps attracted by the smell of the dish.

I am no fond of giving alms, but for an unexplainable reason I felt that I should make him happy. I will not say that I had any sympathy with him. It was in a way , the desire to feel that I was great and was able to fulfill the wish of someone, similar to the omnipotent god. My urge grew stronger and I wanted to feel that I am the agent of happiness in mankind.

When he came to my table, I asked him that which was his favorite dish in the menu card. Somewhat startled at my strange behavior, he replied it was the chilly chicken. Then as an obedient salesman, he went on to describe the specialties of that item at this restaurant. I smiled and ordered him to bring its two plates.

He arrived again, staring greedily as usual at the dish. With a big smile on my face and expecting a deep gratitude from him, I told him that the extra plate was for him, a gift from my side, the self appointed Santa Clause.

For a moment he stood there, quiet, clueless, looking the chicken, looking at my face . Then he looked at the manager’s counter and said bluntly that he cannot accept it. I was shocked. This guy was behaving in such an erratic fashion and was actually shooing away the Santa Clause. When I gained some calm, I asked him the reason for refusing it when he had been staring at the plates for long.

With a blank face he told me that a customer can give him a tip, but if someone makes him to eat something, it shall be taken as a sign that one is luring him away from his job. This may look to be a sign that he can quit the work and hence is not a reliable worker. It may cost him his job.

I will not say his reply made no sense to me. But then it was too much for me to understand viewpoints; perspectives. I was not really disappointed, but I felt like a big fool. I made the payment fast and rushed out of the restaurant.

I had this urge to run from anyone who had seen me performing Santa Clause.

Civil Services Preparations: General Facts

I do not claim to be an authority on the subject. My only qualification to write this blog is that I could actually secure a good rank in the exam. This is going to be a general blog and I am writing answers to the questions which have been asked from me many times (without missing to add general gyan from my side too). I also plan a blog for something specific on mains but that shall be later.

1. Strange it may sound, but there is no ‘secret’ to succeed in civil services. It is only hard work, and more importantly done in the right direction. Do not go for many ‘strategies’ to succeed. Cover the entire syllabus, read standard books, give equal weightage to all the subjects and the chances of your succeeding will double.

2. Coaching is not necessary but it does give you an edge, provided you are at the right institute. But that is the case mainly with humanities . In technical subjects I really doubt if good help is available. Remember most of the teachers for civil services in Delhi are those who tried for civil services four times, failed and then started a coaching.

3. Do not take an attempt to see the paper. Your chance of succeeding at any stage without complete preparation is naught. Also it shall be a better idea to buy an unsolved; you may actually see more papers, than by sitting in the exam unprepared :)

4. Do not try to find statistics that chances of success in which attempt are maximum. I have met many candidates saying ‘third attempt is the best attempt’. The person who guided me, made me believe it is possible in the first attempt and I tell you the same.

5. There are no right optionals . It is seventy five percent interest and twenty five percent availability of resources. The only advantage of a popular subject is that resources shall be easily available . Also since the number of candidates appearing from a popular subject shall be more, good number of students will succeed from that subject hence popular subject remains popular.

6. For those from technical fields ( specifically my friends from IIT’s); you also can take humanities. It was not that you were bad at humanities so you took science after high school, but it was that you were good in science too and more opportunities were available there. Considering the education standards in India, you need not worry that an arts graduate will be having an advantage having studied them for years.

7. Another thing for IITians. Since you cracked JEE, you did not get the birthright to enter civil services by taking science subjects. Before opting for them, make sure that you are really interested in the subject. Times have changed and UPSC has revised their syllabus a lot, from what I hear somewhat on the difficult side. A good amount of hard work is required in them and getting marks in science subjects is linear, that is directly proportional to the effort involved.

8. When I say that I do not mean that getting marks in humanities require less effort. It is that writing style, language etc which play an important role in any humanities develop over the years, so it is your previous efforts in life which makes it appear, that humanities require less time for preparation.

9. Above all, the exam is really difficult and not completely predictable. Do not enter it if you are not very serious about it. It ruins the career of many youths. Remember only 474 guys selected out of nearly three lakh applicants. So if we compare the input and output, civil services is not a very attractive career option.


Ignore this if you find it irrelevant. There is no empirical evidence to all this and it is only what I feel. By the way, if you are preparing for the exam, best of luck :)

A Brush with the system

Time is one of the most mesmerizing elements of life. This thought crossed my mind only because I am going to tell you about an incident that happened some time ago.

When I use ‘sometime’, I mean a time not long back, not in recent past. So there was a time when in India all had to stand in queues to get the railway reservation done. It was just before the digital divide took place, when men were not divided into online and inline, those having credit cards and those not having credit cards.

I had to travel and my journey was as usual, unplanned. Getting a reservation in train was always difficult. It was so in good old time when population was less, food was cheap and trains ran on time. It was difficult now when the one billion mark crossed unceremoniously. To put it in simple terms, I had to travel and did not have a reservation.

Some people are fighters and I call myself that. I decided to get the ticket under tatkal scheme. For those who do not know, a percentage of tickets are available just some days before, of course at a dearer cost. Reservation under tatkal begins at 8:00 AM sharp and all tickets get sold within minutes.

So I decided to leave no stone unturned and reached the reservation counter at 4:30 AM to be first in the line. I underestimated my competitors and three people already present at the counter. But not bad, even after those three, I had a good chance to get the prized tatkal reservation done.

The time passed well and like common Indians, all those present there developed a bond, shared their newspapers, discussed politics and made a new cricket team. Thus we were having a good if not great time there. Wait a minute, clock was nearing 8:00 AM and reaching the counter early is necessary but not sufficient condition to get the ticket done. The clerk also has to come.

At 7:55 AM our searching eyes saw the lady clerk arriving from a distance, with serenity like Buddha on her face and the regal gait of a king. I bet no one, but those working in the government departments can perfect that aura.

The lady was meticulous; she entered the office at sharp 8:00 AM, brought a water glass for her, watched herself in a mirror, made a small prayer, ignored the murmurings of commoners and patiently booted the computer. By the time computer opened and the first ticket was made it was already 8:15 AM.

The work happened as usual and the story ends. Oh yes, what happened to my ticket. You guessed it right, did not get it and so did the two others who came before me. Even if this blog was of no help in the treatise of time, I know you must have by now understood why people here believe in god and the theory of karma.

I knew it

Read carefully, at least at some part of your life you must have experienced this.

Symptoms:

1. Watching random orkut profiles; seeing their stupid pictures most of which are ‘cute’ cartoons (why the hell do I need to come to your pictures folder to watch them), reading the boring ‘about me’ and hackneyed, mutually shared testimonials which mostly start with ‘what to say about him/her’, or even worse, roses drawn by text art.

2. Remaining online for hours, watching those who are online but remaining in guise of a ‘busy’ symbol.

3. Checking the email in every two minutes, refreshing the page every now and then to receive the new emails and having an occasional look at the spam folder.

4. Doing what you are doing just now, that is reading blogs, most of which hardly make sense (mine seriously excluded )

Inference:
1. You have a lot of idle time and a generous internet connection.
2. That means you have got a rich father, or
3. God was kind upon you and you entered an IIT, or an engineering college where there is no work and free internet connection.
4. You may also be at a liberal software organization where you work (at least in official terms).

The disease is called boredom. I am suffering from that too. I never knew why I always had so much free time on earth. The condition is serious, and believe it or not, internet hardly provides a solution. That I have been trying for years

Any remedies?

Random Muses

The truth is I have nothing concrete to write and I do not want to make up stories. I just want to remember certain recent events that touched me and are worth chronicling.

I went to my maternal grandparents place some days ago. There was nothing ecstatic about the visit but I could feel again that no one can match the love of grandparents. There is something different about it. It is independent of your success, failures, simply endless love.

There was an old lady whom we went to meet. She was the one who fixed the marriage of my parents and she was more proud of the fact, now when I was going to be an IAS. My dad ate two laddoos despite his diabetese, and my mother and I had to eat more. She recollected the struggle of my grandmother to get my father educated (my grandfather died very early) and the humble beginning of my parents. There were tears in her eyes, Ok, a little in all of us. She was so happy and so proud. Even if I leave other things, this moment was a reason sufficient for me to choose IAS as a career.

All this brought back the memories of my grandmother. I don’t remember much about her, I was just eight when she passed away, but yes, I remember her wrinkled hand, the story of ‘Bhakt Prahlad’ she kept on repeating, and I can still feel her love. I remember her angry face whenever my mother scolded me and I remember my tears when she died. Till today no one could match the love she showered upon me.

Some other things I remember too, the ancient family temple where I was taken; the feeling of distant relatives that I will be of some help to them now, and those repetitive marriage proposals. Then there were those mosquitos that left their marks every night, the flies that had the duty to wake you up with the dawn and the electricity which came at times to show that the town was electrified.

But yes, I could see my roots, beginning of my family, beginning of me.

Another Day, Another Wedding

It’s the season of weddings and yesterday I went to another wedding. The interesting thing is there are so many similar things about all of them. I agree that a wedding is a wedding but I am not talking about the rituals.

First is about the bride. I had known the girl for long. She was cute; she was simple, in a way a normal middle class Indian girl. But when I saw her on stage I could not recognize her. Her makeup made her look exactly like the Durga idols in durga puja. Natural color of the skin was nowhere to be seen.

Adding to it poor girl had to maintain an emotionless face and most of the time look at the ground. The only relaxation allowed was that she could smile a little with a special care that her teeth’s should not be seen. She played her part well and all brides really do.

Another was about the DJ. In our families this was a new entry some years before but not now. No wedding can miss a DJ. But they also invited the ‘shehnai wadaks’ so that the impression is both, modern and traditional. But alas, the shehnais had to play along with the DJ. They were at two different corners of the ground but the throat of the shehnai wadaks was no match to the 1000 watt DJ. When the bride came on stage, the shehnais had some traditional dhun whereas the DJ was playing ‘kahan teri ye nazar hai, meri jaan mujhe khabar hai.

One thing that frightened me was the liberal use of firearms for rejoicing. I never understood one thing. People fire the shots pointing the gun up. I always feel that at the place where the bullet will land it will hurt somebody. Is’nt that true?

Now the most important thing; the food. Believe it or not, for most of the persons, having dinner is the only duty they are required to perform in the wedding. So if you want that people should remain to watch some ceremonies, delay the food otherwise no one is going to watch them barring a few close relatives who have no escape.

The only good this about this wedding was that somehow three girls came to know that I have been selected in the civil services. They came to me and talked about this exam. I do not think I was able to give them any tips but it’s always better to counsel aspirants than watching the same weddings.

The Mystery of Sweet Boxes

I am no Arthur Conan Doyle so don’t expect a Sherlock Holmes kind of mystery from me. My mystery is simply AS’s mystery, the kind of mystery which happens in our families, surrounding any interesting event, be it a marriage, funeral, or something of ‘relevance’ for e.g. getting a job.

But my mystery was different. It had actors which were unknown to me, unknown to each other. That made the case more complex. Now when I will tell you, you will say this was obvious but not to me,not to someone who is unfamiliar with the dealings of our society.

So what happened was, sweet boxes kept on piling in my house. There were kaju wali barfis, there were gulabjamuns, there were jalebis, there were those bengali sweets and what not. And the strange thing was they came from sources unknown to me, unknown to my family. People came with distant references or no reference at all and never forgot to bring a sweet box along with them.

I enquired to my mother but she could not give a satisfactory answer. I had a doubt that she was hiding something from me. When I saw a pattern I decided to solve the case. The only change from the past was that I was selected in a competition (now I won’t mention the name). But was that the only reason.

And then I got the clue which opened everything. Many of the sweet providers were asking my date of birth and not only that, even the time and place of it. So now I know. I am not that big a naive not to understand that these things are used for horoscopes.

You might not have solved the case but it’s my detective instinct that found that these sweet boxes were for marriage proposals. But for whom, was it for me, AS. The case was not that simple. On deeper analysis I found that I or my name did not matter. The proposals were for someone who was going to be an IAS.

Dear sweet boxes, all of you will be disappointed, but no, I am not going to disclose the reason :)

Meeting Anurag Srivastava, the DM

(Lot of didactic stuff, don't blame me if you get bored)

This is not meant to be a joke. The present DM of Kanpur is in fact Shri Anurag Srivastava, IAS topper 1992 batch. He has done his B.Tech from IIT Kanpur and got through civil services in his first attempt by achieving All India Rank one . I got to meet him through a common friend of family.

The first thing that strikes about the DM house is its opulence. The house that was designed during British era can in no way be called humble. From the main road one can see signboards pointing towards the DM house. It is a huge house with a bunch of policeman at the gate.

At the allotted time we are asked to enter the office. I am awed by seeing the size of the office. It is like a big conference room. There is a big table and seats for visitors, not two, not three but at least thirty grand chairs. Later I came to know that the office is also used for press conferences and meetings and hence it’s huge size. There is a laptop kept at the table, a TV and a VCD player in a side of the room.

Anurag Srivastava is a thin man in his late thirties. I am introduced to him and he is pleased to know that we are namesakes. The discussion begins and first thing at which we are amused is that both of us got poor marks at the interview. He got 120(out of 250) and I got 150(out of 300).

After some trivial talk, I arrive at the real issue “Sir, I am going to enter the IAS, what advice would you like to give me" And now starts the real conversation.

He starts by saying enjoy your stay at Mussorie, learn all what you can, be it horse riding or firing pistols. Also, study the courses well; you may need them in your job. Do no think that your studies are over. You will have to keep reading throughout your life.

Quoting his words “IAS is the best job profile a person ever dreams.” One can get to work in almost any department. There is infinite scope of everything. If you want to bring development you will be able to do that, if you want to attack
Social evils, you can do that, if you want to get degrees, you will be able to get admission in the best universities worldwide, and if you want to be corrupt no one will be able to do anything against you.

But if you want to do good work, and serve the real goal of being an IAS never bow to any pressure. This shall be very difficult for the initial years of your service. Accommodate you must, but never at the cost of your principles.

His parting advice was "Don’t get lost in this power game. Give time to your family and do what you enjoy to do. There is pressure in the job but you have to manage it.

There is a life beyond IAS and enjoy that too.”

Voice of the Nation

So Pratibha Patil, the present governor of Rajasthan, is the choice of UPA and left for the post of president. We may soon have our first female president. Sonia Gandhi and many others have called it a historic event.

The thing that strikes me is the focus is on ‘first female’ president. This has become her biggest qualification. Last time NDA brought Kalam and thus brought a ‘muslim’ president. Congress made Manmohan Singh Prime Minister and hence gave the nation first Sikh PM.

No I am not claiming that these things were parochial. I just intend to know does this really represent something. Have we achieved women empowerment after sixty years of independence and hence a female candidate for post. Does Manmohan Singh represent that minorities have gained equal share in development of the nation.

Actually the answer looks to be a no to me. Yes India is secular, democratic, providing equality to all and there is absolutely no doubt about that but somewhere in sixty years we could not achieve what we dreamt. There have been aberrations and certainly some big ones. The conscience of the nation and its people suffer from this guilt. It haunts us all and things like ‘first female president’ are like assurances that we give to ourselves that all is well.

To me this is not the voice of the nation but a chimera we intend to invent. The voice of the nation says fulfill the promises made to the citizens. Make India what it was intended to be, what is its true nature from centuries, an amalgamation, a land which provides home for all, whose main feature is its diversity, respect for all beliefs, race, religion, philosophies.

Till that day comes, we will be happy with things like we are going to have our first female president.

The 'Just Friends' Syndrome

There was this boy who loved a girl. And there was this girl who again loved this boy. Everything looked so beautiful and they were living in their dreamland. Both believed that life was beautiful till the boy decided to make it formal and said to the girl “I love you”. Kahani me twist, the girl asks this boy “Can’t we just be friends”. How was this just in anyway. Just!

I had to suffer because of it. Many of my friends suffered because of it. Most boys suffer because of it. I am talking here of the ‘Can’t we just be friends’ syndrome of girls, the dreaded words many boys are made to hear.

There was a donkey. And there was a farmer sitting on him. When the donkey stopped moving, the farmer hanged a carrot in front of the donkey with the help of a stick. Poor donkey kept moving in hope that he will soon be able to get the carrot. Someone in this story was a boy and someone was a girl, and there are no prizes for guessing it right.

Girls are never sure whether they want to commit or not. But they do not even let the boy move on. Their concepts of relative velocity are solid. They maintain a constant distance and ensure that the relative velocity is zero. You move one step back and they will come one step forward and vice versa. How can one have her cake and eat it too.

Someone please explain this to girls!

PS: I completely understand the reason why girls do not commit and they are fully justified. Its hard to love shabby boys and harder to consciously acknowlede it . The conclusion is I am no Male Chauvinist Pig :)

The Great Indian Train Chat

You may not be able to make much sense of this blog if you have been traveling in AC/First class . This posting is for those whose main ally during train travels has been sleeper class and the enjoyable train chat that comes along with it. Most of the time I found myself incapable to participate in them but even being a mute spectator was a good experience. What I wish to do here is to recollect major topics that you will find in almost in any train chat.

The first and foremost is politics. People are always discussing who is going to win the elections, how much is the moral bankruptcy of politicians, how pure leaders were in good old days etc. The good/bad part in there is no dearth of ideas, I have found people supporting military rule and others praying for a leader like Hitler

Another is the national pastime; cricket. The common factor I observe is that cricketers need to be criticized. People form mutual cribbing society, I will criticize my favorite, and you crib about yours.

Now comes the turn of railways. How trains are getting delayed, what were the perfection of railways in good old days and the conspiracy of railway staff to stop their train to bypass some other.

Along with it there is population. People are never so concerned about population than they are when they see the crowd in trains. They spell the doom of India within years. The most neutral topic can be weather, for e.g. to start the conversation ‘Bahut garmi hai na aaj’. Many other come to my mind like reservation, scandals, great old Indian culture, movies, declining morality etc but I will leave them for the moment.

The beauty of these is they show me the real India, and its multiple colors. I can see India that is multicultural, its citizens who are naïve yet caring, people supporting Hitler yet crying in saas bahu sagas, people who are basically democratic, knowing the art of bonding with strangers, sharing almost same ethics and values. A journey in train can be a journey of the nation.

Favorite for Lifetime

This is something that had a deep impact on my life and the priorities I decided. It is somewhat old so you might have read it, but anyways it much more worth posting than any of my other blogs. Give it a try once:

Steve Jobs, 2005 Stanford Commencement Address :This is the prepared text of the address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, who spoke at Commencement on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation.

Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course."

My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college. And 17 years later I did go to college.

But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK.

It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting. It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it.

And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example: Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college.

But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later. Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30.

And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over. I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything.

It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together. I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple.

It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that your are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure very thing is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes. I lived with that diagnosis all day.

Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now. This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.

Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and Polaroid cameras.

It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions. Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words:

"Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

The Male Dance Begins

So you are wondering what is male dance. It is the dance (or an activity which is different from normal) which males in some species perform to attract the females. You guessed it right, male dance is common in human beings too.

Even I have found myself performing male dance at times. More than the idea of attracting the females, it’s the behavior of other males around you which makes you do this.

The recent incident occurred in a meet of candidates selected in civil services organized by an organization which conducted mock interviews. We were nearly twenty peoples and as usual there was the skewed sex ratio, the curse thrust upon me since my engineering days, only four girls on sixteen boys.

I went with a friend of mine who got a slightly better rank. Complete one hour passed and we could not even claim a ‘hi’ with girls. The competition was tough and even the faculty seemed to be our competitors, leave alone the selected guys.

There was this beautiful girl; with a sunshine smile (other descriptions ought to be omitted for decency) who attracted the attention of nearly everyone. We could have never let the event pass without an introduction at least. The hierarchy principle was running high in our mind and if a guy, who was uglier than us (in relative terms), with a rank in two hundreds could constantly revolve around her, we having a rank in twenties certainly deserved our share.

So when the girl was leaving and this ugly guy still revolving around her, we decided to take matters in our hand (in other words perform the male dance). We said a desperate hi and once the conversation started, we were seeking all the information right from which place she belonged, which service she expected, what were her optionals etc. The competition even started between me and my friend that who can talk more to her. The guy with this girl was stubborn. He did not leave the girl even now. Though as Arjuna, we concentrated only on the girl completely ignoring the guy.

Someone reintroduced us four to another faculty and we discovered that this guy and that girl had the same surname. I missed even this but my friend who claims to have more experience in these matters felt something wrong. He asked the guy if the girl was his sister or a relative. To the embarrassment of all of us he said aloud “No! we are going to get married soon.”

Well, that is life. We salvaged our image after that as much as we could by talking only with the guy about his marriage plans, and pretending that we were so excited by their plans. After that I had a deep regret that I also performed the male dance, and as usual failed miserably. I console myself by thinking it’s the human gene that is to blame and not me.

God! You created an unfair world.

PS: If the couple concerned is reading this, please pardon me and understand that I had to take some liberties with the incident to make the blog interesting.

I also want to state to all those reading that there is a good element of imagination in this, so do not let this post degrade my image :)

Destiny

What is the role of luck in life vis a vis a person’s karma. Some say that luck is the most important factor in anyone’s success while many believe that it’s a person’s efforts that decide the outcome. I found two very interesting explanations of this which cleared my understanding.

Life is like a game of bridge. The cards you get is your destiny but how you play is your karma. A person with good cards may spoil his game and vice versa. So in a way it’s a mixture of both.

Another explanation was that we are like an animal bounded by a rope in his neck. The animal cannot go beyond the limits of rope but in order to find out what his limits are he will have to do his karma.

Though at the risk of sounding didactic, I will say that all have to do their efforts to succeed. For success in UPSC I will say you need to be both hard working and lucky :). After all this speculation, I bow before Gita:

“Karmanyevadhikaraste Ma Faleshu Kadachana”

Relatives

No, I am not going to crib about my relatives. They love me a lot and they are highly appreciative that I got selected in IAS with a good rank. This article is about some distant relatives and friends of family. I haven’t ever met many of them but now I have no escape as I am free and they are also much more eager to call me.

I visited many distant relatives for the first time. Yes I have been a good student throughout, a got a merit in boards went to IIT, then cleared IAS (agreed, enough of boasting) but that does not mean I don’t respect anyone. It has now nearly become a rule that everyone presents his and his family’s CV to me. I come to know what degrees they received, how many of their near and dears ones were from IIT’s, how many cleared it in first attempt, at what pay packages they are working and how many civil servants they know. I understand that they are not showing off but somewhere at the back of their mind they feel I won’t respect them.

Another big problem is how I can tell a kid studying in fourth or fifth how to study. I mean I never knew myself how I studied. And what will that kid make out from my didactic statements. I would have hated meeting anyone who tells me how to study. The limit is reached when I am asked to tell a kid how to become an IAS. May god save these children from their parent!

One bigger headache is the albums that I am made to see. I appreciate that they are trying to entertain me but why I would be interested in seeing pictures of birthday of their kid or their visit to Nainital. You have to deal very carefully in such situations. You should give each picture an optimum time, neither more nor less. Even if you are thinking about Timbaktu, show that you are really enjoying. Asking some questions in between gives a good impression to the host.

The best part of these visits is the adulation showered generously on me. So I have nothing to complain. Whatever anyone says, believe me all love flattery.

Ok go back to your work and I have a checklist given by my father of relatives to be completed.

IAS Interviews

Don’t read it if you are looking for clues how to give a good interview in civil services. I have given just one and scored a pathetic 150. The worst part is I still feel I gave a good interview. What I wish to do in this blog is to recollect various incidents I came to know while discussing about interviews.

I begin with collection I got from common men who actually never appeared for civil services. I seriously doubt there is any element of truth in these but they present the most interesting lot.

I have heard this incident n number of times from various sources. The chairman of the board drops his pen on ground and asks the candidate to pick it up. When the candidate picks it up, the chairman becomes very angry. He says you are aspiring for the post of IAS, you don’t pick up the pen yourself but push the buzzer, call a peon and ask him to pick up the pen. Well, well, well, is there any wonder why the work in government departments’ move so slowly.

Another is about testing the sharpness of your memory. The board asks questions like how many steps you climbed before entering this room (UPSC interview room has no stairs, so don’t worry, this can never be asked) or what is the color of the wall behind you. I feel that they are more interesting than true.

Now some true incidents. A candidate enters the boardroom and falls flat on ground. The chairman says ‘Mr. what a great fall'. The candidate stands up, smiles and says ‘Sir, it’s a pleasure I have fallen in company of great men like you.’

There is one in which the chairman asks the candidate his favorite color. The candidate says none. The chairman insists on his favorite color but the chairman again says none. Now the chairman turns little angry and says look Mr. you have to give a color, imagine you are giving it to your bride but pick a color. The candidate becomes agitated and says if I have to pick up a color, it will be red, the color of revolution. The candidate is given very poor marks. When the other members ask the chairman how his preference of color determine his personality, he says that he is going to become an IAS, he will have to handle strikes, pulls and pressures from various groups, if he can become agitated in an interview room, one can imagine his behavior in the field.

From this time interviews, I remember questions like what is similarity between Mahatma Gandhi and Dr. Abdul Kalam. The candidate answers that Gandhi wanted colonial India believe that independent India is possible and Kalam wants developing India believe that developed India is possible.

A candidate who wrote classical singing as his hobby was asked to sing a song. Then he was asked to sing the same song in different raga. The candidate was able to do that and got 225.

One person was asked to untie his knot and tie it again. Poor candidate did not know how to tie a knot and became nervous. More than not knowing how to tie a knot, nervousness spoiled his interview. The person who was due after this candidate took out his tie outside the interview room when he came to know about this incident. His bad luck was he forgot to open the topmost button of his shirt and the first thing he had to explain was why he was not wearing a tie when he was having his topmost button closed.

There are many more incidents which I will recollect in a later blog. If you know any, do let me know. But yes, do not believe the magazines in which all the candidates say the board was very cordial, they made them very comfortable.

In case you want to read a perfect interview, read vivek’s blog if you have'nt read it till now.

Life has changed

The person who delivered milk at my house never knew me. But this time when I went home, I received a big ‘sahab namaste’ from him. Oh yes I remember, I have been selected in IAS and if I exaggerate just a bit, I can say that my entire city knew it.

Life has changed. From anonymity of being a student to that of being selected for the post of biggest babu of government, change is in something that can be called drastic. The incidences I would mention here may be totally irrelevant, but to me they appeared as a constant reminder that something has changed.

I became an interesting news item, or at least an item ‘worth’ reading. I got coverage in three four news articles, got my picture published in them, also did a live one hour TV interview (so what it was a small local channel), answered hundreds of viewers how they should prepare for civil services, what I am going to do for the country, how many hours I studied a day, whether I studied during the day or night and if I am going to take dowry in my marriage.

Not everything was good about this achievement. I got a sense of superiority complex. I felt confident while driving the car without my driving license. I imagined that if any traffic policeman caught me, I will say haven’t you read today’s newspaper, don’t you know me.

Whenever an unknown person stared at me, I felt he is trying to recognize me since he would have seen my picture in the newspapers. But to my dismay no one has recognized me till today and I am still waiting. Why people dont read newspapers seriously.

A big disadvantage of any big achievement is that you are made to meet all your relatives whom you have been able to evade for years in guise of studying. In last fifteen days I must have touched feet’s of at least five hundred people. I know this a good exercise for my back but I fear that it may be an overdose.

Another constant irritation is people asking constantly what happened in my interview. I don’t understand why people are not satisfied when I tell about my real, simple interview. To tell the truth, they are disappointed. My description comes an an antithesis to their imagination about an 'IAS Interview'. I have heard so many stories about IAS interviews that I am sure I will write a blog on it and mind you my original interview was'nt even half as interesting.

One thing I can see that from now onwards I have to be a people’s man. I no longer have the luxury to be confined in myself. But whatever it may be, I am enjoying all this.

Something from Past

This blog was written by me in october 2005 just before leaving the job at Asian Paints. I thought it was pretty personal so I did not publish it then. Now when I have got All India Rank 27 in civil services I think I am justifiedd in publishing this :-)

Yes I am going for it.

There was a kid in class 5th who dreamt of becoming an IAS officer. He lived with this idea, read long editorials in the newspaper, mugged CSR and did anything however stupid to live up his dream of becoming an IAS officer. Then he grew, realized the difficulties of life and gave up the idea.

That’s me. I was sure that I shall be going for IAS. Then at some point of time, I decided that I should enter the IIT to make my life secure. Lazy as I always was, I did not work hard to prepare for IAS during my stay at IIT. Life presented softer options and I went for them. One can take a good job, do an MBA, PhD or anything, but not taking up a job just for the sake of giving IAS exams looked a stupid idea. I decided to postpone the idea of appearing for IAS and went for a ‘good’ job. I wanted to play safe, make myself appear smart and present a successful image. The job was really good, probably among the best in the campus.

Just four months down the line I have money, prestige, envy of peers but still I am not satisfied. I feel I am betraying my dream. I do not want to wake up a morning when I turn 40 and feel that I did not had the guts to go for it. It may turn out to be a blunder; it may turn out to be a boon.

Whatever it may be, this is the best time to chase my dream.

IT’S MAGIC, IT’S MAGIC

UP elections, clean, without violence, without booth capturing, this certainly has to be magic. Election Commission (EC) has been touching new heights. First there were clean Bihar elections, then BJP had to declare that it ‘unequivocally condemns’ the communal CD and now this. EC is another face of India’s maturing polity.

Before TN Seshan, people hardly knew that EC had any powers. But after that there has been no looking back. Civil servants are certainly capable of delivering when they are giving sufficient freedom.

I can only say, ‘Be you ever so high, EC shall always be higher than you’.

Intoxicating

Music can be intoxicating. I have felt a different kind of happiness, a peace of mind, as if this is the best moment of my life. I have no ambitions, no fears, only calmness, serenity. Recently discovered Mehndi Hasan and this ghazal. Simply awesome

भूली बिसरी चांद उम्मीदें, चंद फसाने याद आये
तुम याद आये और तुम्हारे साथ ज़माने याद आये

दिल का चमन शादाब था फिर भी ख़ाक सी उडती रहती थी
कैसे ज़माने एबा मे जाना तेरे बहाने याद आये

ठंडी सर्द हवा के झौंके आग लगा कर छोर गए
फूल खिले शाखों पे नए और दर्द पुराने याद आये

हंसने वालों से डरते थे, छुप छुप कर रो लेते थे
गहरी गहरी सोच में डूबे दो दीवाने याद आये

Listen it here

Three Questions :

When do two people fall in love?
Every person has a perception of himself, or how he truly is. Then there is his perception in world, or how the world sees him. He may hide his true self or may not be able to project it to the world. But when someone else sees him in the way he sees himself , it is quite likely he will fall in love with that person.


Can a ‘normal’ person lead a complete life without having any interaction with the opposite sex( leave physical needs for a moment)
According to me no. It is similar to lock and key theory. Male and female are two distinct parts (if taken crudely) that fit in. They make a complete union only when they two meet. Physical union :-) can be seen by all, but what I am saying is there is also an emotional union which is complete only between a male and a female.

Can someone change his religion?
A person’s religion is not something that belongs only to himself, but it is a part of his cultural identity, a legacy that he gets from his family, his society, his upbringing. It is something similar to changing one’s past. So one may claim that his religion is his individual belief, but reality shall be quite different and if one cannot change his parents he cannot change his religion.

Dissentions invited......

My UPSC Interview

These are the details of my interview here held on 4rth April 2007. I have tried to present the interview as it happened.

I was allotted a table along with four other candidates. It was a great solace to meet four other souls in same state of mind and butterflies in their stomach. We chatted and felt good. One hour passed quickly and I did not at all feel nervous.

A clerk came quietly to our table and said “Subir Dutta ka board hai”. Not all were amused by his name. Within minutes we found out he was a retired IAS, former defense secretary, and was ‘not very friendly’.

I was third to be interviewed. My heart was beating fast. I went near my chair and wished them Good Morning, wishing the lady member first. (It was a five member board with one lady member, let them be M1, M2, M3 and M4)

Subir Dutta: Sit down Mr. A
A: Thank you sir (Adapts an imposed smile on his face and gives a smile to all the members. They all have stern expressions)

Subir Dutta: So Mr. A you have done B. Tec in Mechanical Engg. from ……. (I take it as a cue for prompting)
A : IIT Kanpur Sir

Subir Dutta: You got this Outstanding B. Tech project award, what was it.
A : Explains it in brief and turns his head (somewhat like a table fan) to meet the eyes of all members

Subir Dutta: You have worked for six months in Asian Paints, why did you leave
A: Sir I always wanted to come for civil services but I wanted to get some work experience before coming here.

Subir Dutta: (looks interested) Why do you want to come to civil services?
A: Sir I learnt a lot in my engineering but I felt that my field is getting narrowed. I wanted to work not only among machines but also among human beings. Civil services offer an opportunity to work directly among people. Apart from this, it is a wonderful career opportunity with a motivation of working for the society.

Subir Dutta: And you also got this summer training scholarship form University of Stuttgart?
A : Yes sir.

Subir Dutta: When was it and for how long?
A: I explain…

M2: So how did you go?
A: Sir it was by Turkish airlines. I went to Istanbul and then to Stuttgart.

M2: Oh, so you did not take the traditional route from Frankfurt. This route must be cheaper.
A: Yes sir, this was the reason (a smile comes on my face)

M2: OK, what is the distance between Stuttgart and Frankfurt?
A: I think 200 km.

M2: Stuttgart and Berlin?
A: nearly 400 km

M2: Stuttgart and Bonn?
A: nearly 400 km

M2: Stuttgart and Hungary?
A: nearly 400 km.

Subir Dutta: Mr. A what are your 16th and 17th preference of services?
A: Sir they are IFS and IPS. I gave them this preference because I do not want to enter these.

Subir Dutta: Why?
A: Sir I have some family commitments and it shall be difficult for me to stay abroad for longer durations.
I did not fill IPS because I felt I do not have the right kind of temperament needed to be an IPS officer. I tried to know more about this service but I was not convinced. I felt if I still filled it, I shall be dishonest with myself and the service (this was a well rehearsed answer)

Subir Dutta: What is the total Income tax collected?
A: Sorry sir, I don’t know

Subir Dutta: (with a small sarcastic smile) I felt you did so much research while filling the service preferences, you would be knowing it.
A : (tries to maintain a smile on his face)

Subir Dutta gestures other members to ask their questions

M2: Mr. A, IIT’s were made to do some good research but that task has not been achieved what do you say?
A: Yes sir, this may partially be true. IIT’s were made primary for research but over the years it has been felt that the outcome is not as expected. The number of undergraduates is twice that that of postgraduates, and IIT’s could not attract students primarily for research purpose

M2: Do you think there is Brain Drain?
A: May be 20 years before there was, but not now.

M2: Define Brain Drain
A: I define it

M2: But we are using technologies invented in west. So where is this brain drain?
A: Yes sir that’s a valid point of view and we may also see things like this


Subir Dutta: Mr. A, I forgot to ask you one question. Some persons come to me with a BE degree some come with a B. Tech degree. What is the difference?
A: I explain (I had expected this so I gave the answer I found on internet)

Subir Dutta: (not very satisfied by my answer) What is the difference between engineering and technology?
A: Sorry sir, I do not know the literal difference.

M3: Mr. A, what is the temperament needed to be an IPS officer.
A: It shall be very difficult to define the temperament sir; it was more of a feeling. I tried to know more about the service but I was not convinced.

M3: So what did you try to know?
A: I read about IPS officers who had made name. I found that they all wanted to be in police from the beginning. Reverse was the case with me.

M3: And?
A: I have also done NCC for one year

M3: and you did not like it?
A: No sir, I liked and it was a very good experience. But something similar to this as a career preference. I feel my priorities lie somewhere else.

M3: Mr. A, we have these revenue services. But research has shown that 90% taxes are collected in pre assessment stage itself. These services help only in collecting 10% taxes. Why we should not abolish these services?
A: (I have no idea what to say) Sir but these services must be providing talented human resources which must be used for that pre assessment collection.

M3: In a way repeats his question
A: Sir I was unaware of this fact…..

M3: Yes it is a fact; government of India’s white paper has said this.
A: (I smile) May be sir even this 10% that these services collect is very important for the nation.

M3: (he also starts smiling) Ok

M4: Recently online degrees have been started by IIT’s. What is your opinion about them?
A: I support this by saying now the reach of education can be improved.

M4: Do you know any other western university doing this
A: No sir, I specifically do not know, but many must be doing it.

M4: MIT is doing it. Where is MIT?
A: Boston

M4: Yes Boston, Massachusetts.

M2: A, you have seen education system in Germany and India. What difference did you observe?
A: Sir education is free there, and government is trying to attract students from all over the world as their population is declining.

M2: What else?
A: I can’t remember anything else sir.

M2: They focus more on technical education.
A: Yes sir

M1: What do you know about “Specific Energy policy of India”
A: (I had never heard about it) Madam I do not know exactly what this is but I can tell about it.

M1: (she nods)
A: I tell all major things about energy, from power sector reforms to diversification to non conventional energy sources.

M1: Do you think Jatropa farming is successful
A: Yes maam (I explain with certain problems involved)

M2: What is virtual university?
A: (I could have easily guessed it but….) Sir may I guess??

M2: No, tell only if you know for sure.
A: Sorry sir I do not know.

M3: Mr. A the services you want to enter are the most corrupt services. What will you do to curb corruption?
A: I explain by specially mentioning to use technology.

M3: (with a smile) Use technology and problem would be solved?
A: Not sir (with a smile) but use technology more often, it will help.


Subir Dutta: Ok A, you can go now.


I thanked everyone, but I do not remember them smiling back at me. They all looked busy in themselves and I came out. All this happened in just 25 minutes!

I had this strange feeling, I did not think it went very good, I did not think it went bad. I was confident; I was smiling, so I am satisfied by my performance.

I do not exactly till date what went wrong. After all the speculations the verdict is known to me. It was not a very good interview and I scored a meagre 150. But there is a silver lining too. I scored 1139 in mains so could still manage 27th rank :)

It’s a wonderful life

Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?

Orkut is not useless; it has many good things about it, specially for the ignorant souls. Still wondering how, so look at profiles, their favorite movies, books and you can find a hidden treasure there.

I found this movie, ‘It’s a wonderful Life’ in one of the profiles and believe me it is a gem. It makes you realize that indeed life is wonderful. Very few things in this journey called life remind us that we are actually enjoying it. This movie is one of those.

Life gives us sorrow, life gives us joy, and not an iota of it is worth missing. Do we really need to understand what is life, can’t it be just an experience. You enjoy it till you are and you won’t even know when you are gone.

Remember no man is a failure who has friends

Read more about it here